“Jesus Jesus, you make the darkness tremble. 

Jesus Jesus, you drive out fear.” 

I sit here sad, confused, disgusted, aggravated, over it, done, and praying that Jesus come back soon. For now, I want to express my thoughts on all of this. Truthfully, I was going to stay silent, but the Lord has been pushing me to speak so I hope as you read what I say that something resonates with you and you take it to heart. So here goes....... 

First things first, and this may sound harsh or insensitive, but I am not personally affected by the situations going on. Let me explain. I am not personally affected or offended because of the solid fact that I am black. That is not a good enough reason for me to upset. My skin color says I am black so I am required to act a certain way? Feel a certain way? Behave a certain way? Absolutely not! Yes, my heavenly Father created me, but created me in His image and likeness therefore my behavior, feelings, and actions resemble that of a daughter of the King, not a daughter who is black. This takes me back to middle school when I was confronted by another black girl and was questioned for how I talk. She says “how do you talk like that?” and in my head I am thinking talk like what, a person? In which she proceeded to tell me that I sound white when I talk. I remember another example in which I was on the phone with another black friend and he also proceeded to tell me that I sounded like a white person on the phone. How come my skin color has to dictate the way I talk? Why am I not viewed as an educated person who actually learned grammar and how to speak correctly? My entire life I have been raised to respect people for who they are, their hearts and the character of their inner-being, NOT for the color of their skin. People have said racial slurs to me or have had this expectation of me, simply because I am black and I stand here today proving you wrong and because I am who God says I am. His daughter and that is how I behave. I rebuke this in the name of Jesus, but heaven forbid something happen to one of my family members does it then become personal for me because they are my blood family and someone I know. This does not mean that I turn a blind eye to what is going on, I am fully aware and I am not ok with it. I do believe in justice and wanting it for those who have been wrongly accused or murdered. It’s not ok to murder someone solely because they are black, white, Spanish, or Asian. But it is also not ok to destroy an entire community. 

Let me talk about anger, there is righteous and unrighteous.  

Righteous anger is being fired up for a cause. We want justice. We want change. Maybe it calls for a time to be like Jesus and flip over tables, maybe it calls for peacefully walking down a street with signs. It does require an act of self-control, understanding, and forgiveness. 

Unrighteous anger is being fired up for a cause. We want justice. We want change. However, our actions result in destructive behavior that doesn’t result in the positive change, but rather the negative ripple effect causing more unnecessary damage.  

Which anger do you fall under? 

Ephesians 4:26-31 “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.” 

Proverbs 29:11 “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” 

Ecclesiastes 7:9 “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” 

Proverbs 15:1;18 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”; “A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.”  

Where is your anger? Are you quickly provoked or calming a quarrel? 

Have you ever been to the Civil Rights Museum in Atlanta, Ga? If you haven’t you should take a visit there. It is a powerful walkthrough of history. My mom and I had the chance to go back in January and I walked out of there bawling. When you go through and see face to face the reality of what African-Americans went through, it touches you somewhere deep. It didn’t touch me because blacks, or “my people” were being persecuted. It was the degrading of another human being, the torture and ignorance aligned with those who didn’t want something different. The mentality that you can view someone as less than you and treat them like an animal.  

The protest that I witnessed in that museum was one of respect, honorable character, peaceful, and calm. Martin Luther King led a legendary march where they were greeted with police ready to beat them down. Men who peacefully walked into a restaurant to protest against segregation and got beat down with words said to them and physically beat down. Men and woman (black and white) who risked their lives on a bus to travel across the south and endured beatings, fires, and some police brutality. This is what protesting is. This is how we make a change. I am so thankful that we have come so far that we do not have to endure this kind of pain, however the sin cycle looks different in 2020. 

Do I think that there are some police officers that are abusing their rights and getting away with literal murder? Absolutely. But I also was raised not to group an entire “race” into a category and expect the same behavior from each one. Each individual cop is different and is responsible for their actions. Do I agree with the riots and looting? Absolutely not. I do not understand the mentality of destroying your entire city. It isn't a point of righteous anger; it is a point o